Building a Family with IVF is Not Like Ordering Off a Menu

Paris Hilton, the OG queen of social media and reality TV, is back in the news this week after an interview on the podcast ‘The Trend Reporter with Mara’ discussing her plans to start her family. Her statements on why she chose IVF (in vitro fertilization) left many in the fertility community stunned and frustrated.

People Magazine covered the interview with a piece titled ‘Paris Hilton Reveals She’s Started IVF Process with Boyfriend Carter Reum, Says It Was ‘Tough’ but ‘Worth It’ but it’s the quotes in the article about doing IVF as ‘the only way she could ensure that she can have twins that are a boy and a girl’ that blew up the internet the rest of the week.

Here’s the interview from Podcast ‘The Trend Reporter with Mara’ published on January 25, 2021.

Mara: Have you thought about how many kids you want to have?

Paris: I want to have twins first then I don’t know maybe three or four children.

Mara: You say you want twins, it’s kind of hard to plan that.

Paris: We have been doing the IVF so I can pick twins if I like.

Mara: Wow. 

Paris I’m so glad Kim (Kardashian) told me about this and introduce me to her doctor. We have them ready to go. (paraphrased) 

Mara: So, you’ve already done the egg extraction. I know that can be difficult emotionally and physically, how was it?

Paris: It was tough, but I knew it would be worth it. I’ve done it a couple times.

Mara: What made you want to go that route? (Meaning do IVF)

Paris: I think it’s something most women should do just to have and then you can pick if you want to have boys or girls. Just because I really want to have twins that are a boy and a girl. So the only way to 100% get that is I am making it happen that way.

Mara doesn’t comment and moves on to ask Paris about her skin care routine.

This week I read the social media posts bashing Paris Hilton and the People Magazine article. I grew up watching Paris party through the tabloids and turn into quite a successful (from what I can tell) businesswoman. I love the arc of her story from scandalous sex tape to running multiple companies, so honestly, I was hoping People magazine did what many journalists do these days: pick apart a quote or interview and publish the click bait for views. 

But – then I listened to the interview myself and hearing Paris’ answers Mara’s questions with many of the misinformation statements I try to educate against daily.

I have no judgement or criticism for Paris Hilton’s choices but I want to clarify:

1.     IVF is not for ordering a family off a menu. Patients may do genetic screening for chromosomes on their embryos and learn the sex before embryo transfer, but there is so much more to IVF than this. We cannot ensure that an IVF cycle results in embryos, much less a variety of female and male embryos – that’s up to biology and chance.

2.     ASRM (American Society of Reproductive Medicine) the fertility medical professional society strongly recommends a single embryo transfer. Every obstetric medical society strongly recommends one single baby at a time. Twins are adorable and the majority do well, are healthy – but a twin pregnancy is a high-risk pregnancy. We see the adorable photos or twins on TV and may love the idea of twins, but we don’t see the twins that don’t make it or the ones that delivery early and have lifelong health issues. Glorifying the cuteness or efficient family building of twins is not the whole picture.

3.     There is no 100% in IVF treatment. Success rates can reach 70% with a single embryo transfer in some patients, but I’ll repeat it: There is no 100% guarantee in any fertility treatment. Hearing Paris say: ‘I really want to have twins that are a boy and a girl. So the only way to 100% get that is I am making it happen (is with IVF).’ Statements like this add to the assumption that IVF can fix any fertility problem. As a doctor and former IVF patient myself, I wish this was true but it’s not.

4.     IVF is an option and an incredible technology for those who need it but it’s not as Paris said ‘something most women should do just to have and then you can pick If you want to have boys or girls.’ This one statement just screams privilege. I’m sure it was not intentional but anyone listening to that interview who needs IVF and does not have access to it felt a sting with that statement. Only 19 states mandate any fertility testing or treatment and each state’s coverage is different and typically very limited. Some companies have coverage for employees but many do not. For the people (including my patients) that NEED IVF to treat their infertility DISEASE but cannot pay for the treatment to build their family – this is a true slap in the face.

Dear Paris, 

Typically, I would applaud a celebrity talking about IVF because it’s can be a way of normalizing infertility but in your case – please stop or think through what you’re saying a bit more. Unfortunately, your adding to misconceptions around fertility. You make family building with IVF sound like ordering off a menu and it’s not. Check your privilege and please review success rates and risks of a twin pregnancy with your doctor because you need a reality check as well. 

Sincerely, 

Disappointed and 

Left Here to Clean Up The Many Misconceptions You Dropped in 5 minutes

Learn more about infertility and miscarriage with more blog posts at drlorashahine.com.

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