Feeling Left Out: Infertile and Childless on Halloween
Holidays centered around children can be particularly painful for people struggling to build their family. The Halloween ads with cute kids and candy, family costume photos filling up your social media feed, trick or treaters knocking on your door can be reminders of what you want most right now.
If you’re feeling down or left out of the ‘parent club’ this Halloween – keep reading because you are not alone and there are ways to care for yourself during this time.
Holidays and Infertility
Many holidays are family focused, some more than others. Halloween is especially centered around children and full many reminders of the family you may want but don’t have yet. People discussing their family’s plans for Halloween may leave you feeling down. Seeing trick or treaters and families walking around the neighborhood can be painful.
If you’re dreading Halloween and all the reminders – you are not alone.
· 1 in 8 couples suffer from infertility
· 20% of people trying for a year do not have a successful pregnancy yet
· 1 in 4 clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage
This is an important time of year to protect yourself and be aware of the strong emotions that may surface. You may find yourself more irritable, tired, feeling down than usual. Recognize these feelings and make space for self-care.
Ideas for You
When you’re having difficulty building your family the first step to surviving any family focused holiday is recognizing that there may be strong emotions that emerge. The next step is finding ways to take care of yourself – here are some ideas for this Halloween:
1. Skip Halloween – it’s ok to opt out of giving out candy to trick or treaters and it’s ok to miss the family focused gathering you’ve been invited to attend. Consider a weekend getaway or turn off all the lights and curl up with your favorite movie or book for the evening.
2. Turn off social media for a while surrounding Halloween – it will be full of photos that may trigger negative feelings and emotions at this time.
3. Celebrate Halloween with other adults. Halloween is not just for kids and if you love dressing up and having fun – then do it and have a blast.
4. Distraction – focus on a hobby, go for a new hike, bake your favorite recipe, organize that closet.
5. Self-care – journal, practice gratitude and mindfulness, book a spa appointment, make space for a lazy morning in bed, do something restorative
Infertility any time of year is tough. This Halloween does not have to be child focused for you, so find ways to celebrate in your own way that brings you joy.
Learn more about infertility and miscarriage with more blog posts at drlorashahine.com.
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