Surviving the Two-Week Wait: Coping Strategies and Insights on Infertility
The two-week wait is a brutal experience for anyone trying to conceive. This period of time between potential conception and pregnancy confirmation can feel like an eternity, filled with anxiety, uncertainty, and a rollercoaster of emotions. As a double board-certified reproductive endocrinologist and OBGYN who has helped patients navigate this challenging phase for over 20 years, I've seen firsthand the mental and emotional toll it can take.
But I'm not just speaking as a fertility specialist - I'm also an "infertility warrior" myself, having struggled to build my own family. I know exactly how it feels to be in that two-week wait, constantly wondering, worrying, and second-guessing every twinge and symptom. That's why I'm passionate about sharing practical strategies and insights to help you get through this difficult time.
Understanding the Two-Week Wait
The two-week wait, or "TWW" as it's commonly known in the fertility community, refers to the time between trying to conceive (whether through timed intercourse, intrauterine insemination, or an embryo transfer) and being able to confirm a pregnancy. This period is based on a 28-day menstrual cycle, with ovulation typically occurring around day 14. Two weeks after ovulation, the body will have had enough time to produce the pregnancy hormone, beta-hCG, which can be detected through a blood or urine pregnancy test.
So why is the two-week wait so challenging? There are a few key reasons:
Uncertainty and Anticipation: The TWW is a time of hurry up and wait. You've put in the hard work of timing intercourse, undergoing fertility treatments, or transferring an embryo, and now you have to sit tight and wait to find out if it was successful. The anticipation and not knowing can be excruciating.
Emotional Rollercoaster: During this time, it's common to experience a range of emotions - worry, anxiety, hope, and even despair. You may find yourself constantly analyzing every twinge or symptom, wondering if it's a sign of pregnancy or the impending arrival of your period.
Lack of Control: Trying to conceive often feels like a process that's largely out of our control. The two-week wait amplifies this feeling, as there's nothing you can actively do during this time to influence the outcome.
Navigating the two-week wait requires a delicate balance of patience, self-care, and a plan for moving forward, regardless of the outcome. Let's dive into some strategies to help you survive this challenging period.
What Not to Do During the Two-Week Wait
Before we get into the dos, let's address a few important don'ts:
1. Don't Google
It's understandable to want to scour the internet for information and answers during the TWW, but I strongly caution against this. Dr. Google is full of clickbait and unreliable information that can end up causing more confusion and anxiety. As I mentioned in my Baby or Bust Fertility podcast, "when you see a title that says, 'This is how to know for sure whether you're pregnant or not before the pregnancy test,' red flag - you just have to honestly kind of wait."
2. Don't Test Early
It can be tempting to take a pregnancy test as soon as possible, but I advise against this. Early tests can be inaccurate, either showing a false positive or a negative result when you may, in fact, be pregnant. This can lead to a rollercoaster of emotions that's best avoided. Instead, try to wait until the recommended test date to get a definitive result, even though I know it's incredibly difficult.
3. Don't Dramatically Change Your Lifestyle
It's common for people to drastically alter their diet, exercise routine, and other lifestyle habits during the TWW, either in an effort to improve their chances of conception or to avoid potentially harming a potential pregnancy. However, I caution against this approach. Sudden, dramatic changes can be emotionally and physically taxing, and there's no evidence that they significantly impact the outcome.
Instead, focus on maintaining a healthy, balanced lifestyle that you can sustain throughout your fertility journey. As I often remind my patients, Serena Williams won the Australian Open while eight weeks pregnant, proving that an active lifestyle is not necessarily detrimental to a healthy pregnancy.
Strategies for Surviving the Two-Week Wait
Now that we've covered what not to do, let's explore some positive ways to get through the two-week wait:
1. Distract Yourself
One of the best ways to cope with the TWW is to keep yourself busy and distracted. When I asked my Instagram community for their top tips, many suggested focusing on projects, hobbies, and activities that you've been wanting to try or revisit.
Get Organized: Make a checklist or bucket list of home projects you'd like to tackle during this time. Crossing tasks off your list can provide a sense of accomplishment and keep your mind occupied.
Dive into a New Book or TV Series: Immerse yourself in a captivating story or binge-watch a new show. This can be an excellent way to escape the mental gymnastics of the TWW.
Plan a Date Night: If you have a partner, use this time to reconnect and enjoy each other's company. Try a new restaurant, go for a scenic hike, or simply have a cozy night in.
Pick Up a New Hobby: Always wanted to learn how to knit, garden, or cook a new cuisine? Now's the perfect time to dive in and keep your hands and mind busy.
2. Practice Self-Care
The two-week wait can be an emotionally taxing time, so it's crucial to prioritize self-care. This might look different for everyone, but the key is to be intentional about taking care of your physical and mental well-being.
Schedule Extra Therapy Sessions: If you're already seeing a therapist, consider booking an additional session or two during the TWW to have a dedicated space to process your emotions.
Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a powerful way to release them and gain clarity. Set aside time each day to journal during this period.
Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices like deep breathing, visualization, and meditation can help you stay grounded and present, rather than getting caught up in anxious thoughts.
Indulge in Relaxation: Take time to do activities that bring you joy and help you unwind, whether it's a warm bath, a leisurely walk, or simply curling up with a good book.
Remember, this is a sensitive time, and you may find yourself more triggered by things like pregnancy announcements or seeing pregnant women in public. Be kind to yourself, and don't hesitate to set boundaries or take a break from social media if needed.
3. Have a Plan
While it's important to focus on the present and practice self-care during the TWW, it can also be helpful to have a plan in place for what's next, regardless of the outcome.
Discuss Next Steps with Your Clinic: Before the TWW begins, reach out to your fertility clinic and ask what the plan will be if the pregnancy test is negative. This way, you'll have a clear path forward and won't have to scramble to figure it out in the midst of disappointment.
Schedule a Follow-Up Appointment: Book a post-TWW appointment with your doctor to review the results and discuss the next steps, whether that's moving forward with another cycle or taking a break.
Consider a Break: If the pregnancy test is negative, you may decide to take a break from actively trying to conceive for a cycle or two. This can give you time to recharge emotionally and physically before diving back in.
Having a plan in place can provide a sense of control and help you feel more prepared to handle the outcome, whatever it may be.
Closing Thoughts
The two-week wait is undoubtedly one of the most challenging phases of the fertility journey, but with the right coping strategies and a supportive mindset, you can get through it. Remember to be kind to yourself, seek out distractions, and have a plan in place for moving forward.
If you're finding this episode of the Baby or Bust Fertility podcast valuable, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter to stay up-to-date on the latest fertility news and content. And if you haven't already, subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen to stay connected.
You can also find me on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, and Facebook for more fertility-related resources and support. And be sure to check out my books, including "Not Broken: An Approachable Guide to Miscarriage and Recurrent Pregnancy Loss" and "Planting the Seeds of Pregnancy: An Integrative Approach to Fertility Care."
Wishing you love, luck, and pineapples on your fertility journey.
