Supporting Loved Ones with Infertility on Mother's Day

FertilityEmotional WellnessMiscarriage
Written By Lora Shahine, MD
Fertility testing: What you need to know

 Mother’s Day is a wonderful way to celebrate the mothers but this holiday can be a painful trigger for many struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss. The get togethers, cards, flowers, social media posts can be reminders of what they have lost or desire to be. If you know someone grieving this Mother’s Day, keep reading to learn how you can support your loved ones.

1. Be understanding if they do not want to celebrate on Mother’s Day. Women who are not mothers yet may decline invitations for events on Mother’s Day and that’s ok. If you know why they are not celebrating and the rest of the family does not then be supportive of her choice with other people who do not know the whole story.

2. Say something, because silence can be empty and lonely. So often we are silent when a loved one is grieving because we are afraid we’ll say the wrong thing. Showing someone you care is never the wrong thing. Try, “I’m thinking of you this Mother’s Day – I’m here if you want to talk or spend time together.”

3. Do something to show you care. Offer to do an activity she loves on the same weekend like a walk or hike. If you know she needs to get Mother’s Day cards or gifts for her family and that this may be painful for her, offer to do it for her. Send her flowers or a card letting her know that you care.

4. Be patient and give her space if she doesn’t want to accept your invitation to go out or talk during this time. It’s most important that she knows you care and if she needs her own time, that’s ok.

5. Play interference if she wants you to explain to friends or family why she is withdrawn and not participating in Mother’s Day events. She may appreciate an ally who can explain to others why she is not celebrating.

Not being a mother yet on Mother’s Day can be isolating. Women can feel left out of the “Mother’s Day Club” and be reminded of how much they want their own family. The most important thing you can do for them is to show support, be present, and help them realize they are not alone.

Learn more about infertility and miscarriage with more blog posts at drlorashahine.com.

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Lora Shahine, MD

Dr. Lora Shahine, reproductive endocrinologist at Pacific NW Fertility and Clinical Assistant Professor at the University of Washington in Seattle, completed her residency in OBGYN at the University of California in San Francisco and fellowship in reproductive endocrinology at Stanford University. She is dedicated to educating and advocating for increased awareness of infertility, miscarriage, and the impact on environmental toxins on health through an active social media presence, teaching, clinical research, and authoring multiple blogs and books including best selling, ‘Not Broken: An Approachable Guide to Miscarriage and Recurrent Pregnancy Loss.’

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