Red Flags in Your Fertility Doctor

As a reproductive endocrinologist, some of the most common questions I receive are about finding a fertility or IVF doctor, and I completely understand why. Your fertility doctor will become a critical player in your family-building journey, and trust is so important. Fertility is vulnerable, humbling, and sometimes frustrating—so this blog post includes red flags to watch for when finding your fertility doctor. 

Let’s begin! 

Red flag #1: Your doctor is distracted.

This red flag is the culmination of many red flags. If your doctor excessively checks their phone or watch during your first appointment, that’s a red flag. If they don’t remember your name, that’s a red flag. If they aren’t paying attention to you or forget your name—you guessed it—red flags. 

Time with your fertility doctor is precious. If you ever feel like you’re not the most important person in the room, that’s an indicator that you might want another provider. 

Red flag #2: Your doctor doesn’t listen.

There’s a lot of medical information (and medical misinformation) online. When you’re curious about your fertility, there can be a lot of self-diagnosis. I’m personally not threatened by patients trying to take the time to educate themselves, and I’m always happy to be a filter because you can’t always trust what you read online. 

That being said, there’s a difference between correcting medical misinformation and belittling a patient’s question. If your provider makes you feel silly for asking questions or researching your health, you might want to look elsewhere for care. If your doctor interrupts you, that’s a red flag. If your doctor won’t hear you out, that’s another red flag. 

Red flag #3: Your doctor puts down other doctors.

Second opinions are a natural part of medical care; second opinions in fertility medicine are no exception. Medicine can be an art form, and doctors will do different treatments for their patients. 

While it’s common or natural to challenge or question another doctor’s diagnosis or work, we can disagree without putting other doctors or clinics down. If your doctor is cruel, closed-off, or dismissive of other doctors, that’s a big red flag. 

Red flag #4: Your doctor belittles you.

Your fertility care should be an educational experience. It’s a collaboration between doctor and patient. You’re ideally going to find a true partner in your care. If your doctor shames you for thinking outside the box or belittles your questions, that’s a red flag to me. 

Red flag #5: You’re hiding information from your doctor.

A good doctor-patient relationship is one of openness. There should be an absence of shame. If you start taking a supplement and are nervous to tell your doctor, that’s a red flag. If you start doing acupuncture but worry about being shamed, that’s another red flag. If you’re hiding things from your doctor, that’s a red flag.

Your doctor should be a trusted partner in your fertility journey. 

I hope that you find a doctor who makes you feel important and shares words of comfort when you need it. I hope your doctor respects others in the industry and that you can be as open as you want. I hope your doctor never interrupts and is always open to your questions. 

If this blog post was helpful, take a look at my YouTube channel, where I share weekly videos about reproductive health. Take care of yourself.